Oh the Patriarchy: Things Guys Want YOU to Know

This list makes my blood boil. Besides the large amount of contradictions within the list, most of these things are pretty patriarchal and make me disgusted by the gender norms that surround relationships. Let me just give you a few of my favorites:

#3: “Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls”

Oh. Ok. So I should become an object that is owned by my significant other if I choose to be in a relationship. Got it. Also you have a right to you know, decide who I go out with and when. You can decide what I get to do. Sounds kind of like an abusive spouse. I’m gonna have to pass.

#10. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

Again with this controlling and abusive spouse thing. I’m really sorry that you’re insecure with your relationship but you probably should get over the fact that the women in your life interacts with and are friends with males. You also shouldn’t control who your girlfriend talks with or is friends with.

But apparently: #29. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

So you can you know, talk to any girl you want to, flirt with her, text her you know whatever, but if I interact with a male you get upset. Hmmm… something doesn’t seem right…

Also… #18. Guys like porn!

So you can watch other girls having sex… but I can’t talk with another male or you get you’re panties in a knot. There’s so many double standards in this list, I can’t deal.

#4. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout. However: #36. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.

I really don’t know which is most important to guys…. Because two separate points say completely different things. Maybe you should make up your mind.

But apparently.. #13. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.

Oh…. so you can pretty much do whatever you want, with whatever girl you want. But if I get upset about, you know, any of that, you will break up with me. You know what, it’s ok. I’ll probably break up with you first because that’s ridiculous.

#20. “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.

I feel like one doesn’t need an explantation. But I think it’s pretty problematic that you would put a dumb sporting event over the women you care about sooooo much that you’re ridiculously possessive over her. Since when is a game that EVERY sports network will be cover for the next day and a half with replays more important then the lovely lady in your life?

#21. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.

 Aw yes, I was waiting for the traditional gender norms to take place on this list. Yes, because you know, a women is only worth something if she can make something in the kitchen. Ugh.

#22. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.

Wait, I thought personality (#36) was the only thing that REALLY mattered. No? Well, I probably should dump you for being superficial, and my friend is probably better off. And I don’t know about you, but every one of my girlfriends is gorgeous for her own reasons. You’re a pig for judging her.

#23. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.

Oh really? Because I happen to have lady parts, I am not entitled to choose what we may watch sometimes? That seems pretty fair. Except not in a million years.

#24. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

Oh right, because you know, my only job as a woman is to serve you and be your sex object. Please go back to the 1950’s with your views on relationships.

#27. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.

Again, you can control who I hang out with and what I do but if I ask questions I’m the one on trial. This. is. disgusting.

Last one, but really the biggest one. #28. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.

Sure, that may be the case, but don’t you think you should try to change your behavior if it becomes a reoccurring problem? Maybe you should listen to the woman you care about and realize how your EVERYDAY behaviors are pretty messed up and you should do something out of the ordinary to make her happy and feel better.

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Why it’s tough to be a woman politician: Part 1

It’s tough to be a woman politician in America. There’s a few reason for it. This is going to be a two to three part series on why women have a much more difficult time in politics:

The first is gender norms. When you think of what a woman or a girl should be, you tend to think of a woman as kind, gentle, and passive. Girls are socialized from a young as to be feminine. We should play with dolls, do ballet, and wear everything that is pink. We are taught to accept things and not to be put up a fight (or else we’re being bad). This is somewhat of how we think women should be in the public sphere. A woman should stay at home and should be passive next to males (or risk being a bitch). However, we consider leaders to be assertive, authoritative, and headstrong. Women who try to be leader reach this dichotomy: either break gender norms and be a leader (and be ridiculed in the process being labeled a bitch) or choose not to get involved in politics and follow established norms.

A poll from the National Journal surveyed members of Congress on whether or not they believe that it is harder for women in politics. 81% of Democrats (out of 90 votes) believe it is harder to be a woman in politics. When asked why they believed such some congress members were cited as saying:

“Depends on which office she is running for. It’s usually a challenge for women to break into power-broker networks to raise money.”

“Old prejudices die very hard.”

“It’s still, ‘You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.’ Very few strong assertive females are treated the same as their male counterparts. They are labeled if they are outspoken.”

3% of Democrats surveyed believe it is easier to be a woman in politics and 16% of Democrats surveyed believe there is no difference in difficulty between men and women.

In that same poll, 44% of Republicans (out of 80 votes) believe it is harder to be a woman in politics. When asked why they believed such, some members were quoted saying:

“More to prove, and women usually get a later start or derailed because of kids and family.”

“It’s still a man’s world generally in politics at all levels for a variety of reasons, including women having more family responsibilities than men and conservative women less likely to run, and tradition. However, the world is changing, and if Hillary runs in 2016 and wins, that could change the paradigm.”

“The times they are a-changin’ but it takes time. It’s harder for GOP women than Dem women.”

25% of Republicans surveyed believe it is easier to be a woman in politics and 31% of Republicans surveyed believe there is no difference in difficulty between men and women. 

While there are great differences in how each party views women in politics, still a majority of each party sees and recognizes the difficulties women in our political system face. 

A 2010 study by Loyola Marymount University surveys women and how they view themselves as qualified when deciding to run for political office. Of the men and women surveyed, 33% of women and 35% of men had conducted extensive policy research; 65% of women and 69% of men regularly engaged in public speaking; and 69% of women and 64% of men had fundraising experience. So the men and women who were surveyed were relatively equal in the experience they have. Despite the equality in experience, women were found to be substantially less likely than men to see themselves as qualified to run for office. Women were found to be 29% less likely than men to see themselves as highly qualified and were 80% more likely to consider themselves not qualified at all. Women also have a stronger sense of the inequality that women politicians face: 78% of women believe it is more difficult to be a woman in politics compared to 57% of men believing the same.

Let me know what you think of these statistics and keep a look out for the next parts in this series!

Sam