All this talk about Miley is sickening

I have a huge problem with how this whole Miley Cyrus at the VMAs situation went down. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t care for the performance and I would never act like that. However, I’m really bothered by all the slut shaming that Miley has received. I’m am not a Miley fan. I don’t care for her music or her acting but I have a problem with how people responded to her risque performance. Sure it was jaw dropping, something many people didn’t expect. I didn’t watch the performance until a few days after it happened and I saw a large amount of Will Smith memes (which are actually a reaction to Lady Gaga, not Miley) as well as chicken butt memes. I heard lots about how Miley was raunchy and a bad role model for teenage girls.I watched this video and sure, it wasn’t the most kosher thing I have seen on the internet but It definitely wasn’t the worst. I wouldn’t let my boyfriend’s 7 year old sister watch it but that’s part of the reason its on at 9 or 10 at night on MTV (not a prime time channel).

The first thing i’m going to address is this whole “chicken butt” comment. So maybe her shorts were a little too tight. Cool story. The problem with criticizing Miley’s body, is that she doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her. She is so skinny and nit picking at people like that promotes poor body image, that no matter what you do its never enough. I personally have fought with the issue of body image and trying to conform to our idea of a “perfect body”, which is unattainable. Look at Miley, she’s got some curves and is really thin yet people can still say “she needs to do squats before she can wear those shorts”. People wonder why there are an increase in eating disorders in adolescents– it’s because our society, for whatever reason, idolizes the supermodel body that is unattainable by most of the population and then criticize those who don’t have anything wrong with their body. We make comments to question what girls want to eat and wear.

Second, slut shaming, especially in Miley’s case, I find to be done more by women than by men. We are our own worst critics. I’m sure we’ve all heard it. A group of girls gossiping about another girl wearing a skirt that was “too short” or heels that were “too high” or dancing “inappropriately” or making out in public. Let’s be honest ladies, we’ve all talked about another girl doing these things. Most likely, you have done at least one yourself. The problem with slut shaming is we tell women “you’re bad” if you act out of the stereotypical idea of women. People like to think of girls as virtuous and virginal and if we break out of that mold, we’re asking for it. Slut shaming promotes rape culture. It says, if you act provocatively you can’t say no to someone who wants to have sex.

The last thing is that everyone blamed Miley for her provocative acts but I haven’t heard one thing wrong with Robin Thicke’s song Blurred Lines, a song that promotes rape culture.This is another part of slut shaming. Women get criticized, and men get a high five. Men can be sexual and degrading but women have to cross their legs and look pretty.  In an interview with GQ, Robin Thicke said that he and his colleagues were the perfect people to “make fun of” be derogatory towards women because they’re all happily married with children and that it was fun to be derogatory to women for once. I may be going out on a limb here, but if my husband made this song/video I would be rather offended. Just because you’re married doesn’t give you a free pass to be sexist. Many feminists have criticized this song, some even made a feminist parody of the song (I like the lyrics to the parody but I think the video is degrading to men which is counter productive to their point). My biggest problem is that it’s second nature to the public to be critical of a woman who is provocative in any sense but for a man it’s accepted and ok. I hope that someday our concept of gender roles and norms will be constructed in such a way where everyone is held to the same standard– either its inappropriate for anyone to act in a sexual manner (which most likely wont happen) or we all just get over the fact that women are sexual beings too and let it go.

Sam

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15 thoughts on “All this talk about Miley is sickening

  1. I agree with you about Miley Cyrus and the “slut shaming,” and how wrong it is for people to do that about her. Also, no one should be criticizing Cyrus about her size. Okay, she’s “too skinny” to wear those shorts? She doesn’t have a “big enough butt” to wear those shorts? People who do have a large enough butt to fit into those shorts would probably get slammed about “not being tiny enough” to wear them! No one is ever satisfied with what women do, WHY!? People are ignorant.
    I used to like Miley and she was a wonderful role model for children. I understand she has to grow up, but this is just not the right way to do that. Inappropriately dancing with a married man who has children, ON THE VMA’s!? Taking a foam finger to yourself? That is just ridiculous and uncalled for. I understand men to shameful, ridiculous things as well, but come on, Miley.

    • I think the idea that Miley should sensor herself really isn’t anyone’s business. If you don’t approve of her actions then don’t let the young girls in your life watch her actions or don’t watch them yourself. Robin Thicke and other male figures in Hollywood degrade women through their music and acting and we don’t sensor the young men in society from their influence. I think your argument that SHE shouldn’t be dancing with a married man completely ignores Robin Thicke’s responsibility in that situation. HE’S the married man if he wanted to honor his marriage he should of said something. That’s a problem with these double standards, we look to women as homewreckers and men have no responsibility in the situation. She said afterwards, they were trying to make history, it’s what people at the VMAs do– ie Madonna and Britney Spears making out a few years back.

  2. I 100% agree with your comments about slut shaming. Girls who slut shame other girls just make it acceptable for guys to do the same. We need to start standing up for each other instead of gossiping and perpetuating the same stereotypes you’re talking about. Miley’s growing up in the public eye and that is obviously putting a ton of stress on her, especially with the media criticizing her every move. You nailed it when you talked about how people are telling her to do squats to wear those shorts…girl doesn’t have ANY fat on her and it is so painfully obvious she’s struggling with an eating disorder that those comments literally disgust me.

  3. Miley shouldn’t sensor herself? It isn’t just Miley who should be doing it, nor is it just females. The way that celebrities are acting now a days is just absolutely ridiculous. They need to be role models for the younger generation and mature. Being half naked, dancing inappropriately on television, that is not appropriate. They know there are young children watching it to middle-aged people. Trying to make history; that’s a bad reputation for history, which isn’t the type I would want.

    • Here’s the problem I have with your argument. While you say that it’s not just females who shouldn’t be acting like this, all your examples in both of your comments refer to a woman’s (Miley’s in this case) actions. In my post I specifically say that the problem with society its first that we are much harder on females when it comes to sexuality, mainly because of the way women have been and continue to be viewed by society as virginal and pure and second women are each others worst critics. So if you really want to make that argument, you probably should use examples including men and then say that there should be no sexual content at all anywhere in the public by men or women. I think I also said in my post that people shouldn’t be so upset with the performance because it was on cable and it wasn’t on during prime time– it was on around 10, when most young people would be asleep. I’m sorry if that’s not the history you want but the way you’re referring to the situation, whether you mean it or not, is the exact discourse that I was criticizing in my post.

  4. Thank you for saying you stated the show time in your post, I can read. Also, it doesn’t matter if it was prime time or not; people of all ages are watching television at any given time. Don’t you remember staying up late when you were younger? Would you have wanted to see your favorite Disney Channel star doing that!? Probably not. You cannot censor 100% of what your children watch when you’re not around, and I guarantee there were a lot of children watching. It also doesn’t matter if it was prime time or not because it still showed up on the internet where people could watch, so she and Robin Thicke should’ve been more careful. So, thank you for that..Miley knows what her reputation was before, and you know that just tore everything apart for her. Her father couldn’t even comment about her performance. And yes, I did not list any examples of men being sexually provocative on television, but I can still state the fact that they need to be censoring themselves as well. My point for the first comment is that, Miley deserves all the negative feedback after doing those things on the VMA’s. When a male does something like that on the VMA’s, I’ll come back and comment about it. Yes, women are each other’s worst critics- but when you want to make yourself famous, you’re asking for critiques about the way you act.

    • I did not intend for this thread to get hostile. The reason I restated what I said in my post was not intended to insult you, I only did so to restate my argument. I’m very sorry if you perceived it otherwise. I also apologize for things getting this escalated, this definitely is not the point of the comments section or my blog in general. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree, we have very different perspectives on the situation. Hopefully you continue to come and check out my posts, I’m very sorry if you thought I was being rude or hostile in my posts, that was not my intentions.

  5. warPOWERtics, you have successfully managed to utterly miss the boat. The only one who escalated this conversation is you.

    Your entire argument begs the question of what “appropriateness” is. Those standards of what “appropriate” is provides the basis for not just slut shaming but many patriarchal practices and discourses in general; i.e. “appropriate” behavior for women is staying the kitchen. “Appropriate” behavior is keeping her legs shut before marriage, unless a male wants her, but certainly she shouldn’t have her own sexual desire.

    Criticizing Miley Cyrus solely on the basis of sexualizing her performance plays into a much larger conservative rhetoric which seeks to keep women in place and deny female sexuality, a kind of discourse with deep historical roots which actively denies feminine agency and seeks to regulate female behavior to ensure men are always dominant figures. Sexuality is not a neutral activity or discourse and is a critical part of any individuals identity; to deny the sexualizing of Miley is to deny her very being.

    This is NOT to say that Miley does not deserve criticism; multiple articles such as those featured on the Crunk Feminist Collective I believe do a fantastic job explaining the extremely racist aspects of her performance, including cultural appropriation and twerking. And this is also NOT to say that all forms of sexual performances are all right; clearly Robin Thicke should be criticized for promoting rape. We should promote female sexuality that also emphasizes consent and respect.

    But, even if you are 100% sincere on being willing to criticize men for doing the same, the particular targeting of women has weight in society because gender is always politically and socially salient. Likewise, criticizing sexuality portrayed by men for the sake of it being sexual is a kind of social policing.

    We should criticize hypermasculinity that uses sex as a weapon against women, like Robin Thicke having naked background dancers begging for him, or Dulce and Gabanna ads which evoke images of gang rape. If Miley Cyrus was singing about why women should always be submissive to men and give into their every demand, their would also be room for criticism. But Miley’s performance, besides being explicitly racist, is in its extremely egotistical nature actually making a very narrow claim to her enjoying her sexualized life.

    Whether or not her performance is seen by younger audiences is not her problem. Its the problem of those who knew what the VMAs would be like and marketed it to younger audiences. Its the problem of parents. And its the choice of kids in deciding what they consider right and wrong. You’re right, complete censorship is impossible, and Lord knows kids can get easy access to porn much worse than her performance.

    The problem is that the discourse of “appropriateness” of Miley isn’t just about Miley. It’s about every body socially understood as a “woman.” It’s about what a “woman’s” proper behavior is. It’s about controlling women’s bodies. And that, by definition, is patriarchal.

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  7. Robin Thicke also had no idea that Miley Cyrus was going to come out and dance like that on him. He was upset and his wife was angry. So when you argue about Robin Thicke wanting to “honor his marriage,” he knew Miley was going to come out, but had no idea she was going to lick his face and dance on him like that. It overshadowed his performance. Even though his wife isn’t angry, it was still wrong for Miley to do that. However, I’m done responding to this- this is my final argument from my previous comment. http://mobi.perezhilton.com/2013-08-26-miley-cyrus-robin-thicke-upset-vma-performance#.UkRL1Ru9Kc0

  8. http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/127685/Robin-Thicke-Wouldnt-Change-A-Thing-About-Miley-Cyrus-VMAs-Performance

    http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/vmas-2013-celebs-react-miley-cyrus-robin-thicke-performance-article-1.1437027

    http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/miley-cyrus-team-freaking-out-robin-thicke-bummed-after-vmas-2013268

    Those closest to Cyrus are also scratching their heads. “Miley’s team is freaking about that performance,” the first insider admits. “They saw the rehearsals, but those were really played down compared to the live performance.”

    • I’m sorry but I’m not responding to this anymore. This conversation is going no where. We don’t agree on how this situation went down and we’re just going to have to agree to disagree.

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